What better game to give to a dirty old man than a game called High School Dirty Secrets, compliments of developer Mitsuki Game Studio and publisher Jandusoft. Of course, I jest with my opening line; however, it’s hard not to have that thought when watching the trailer.

I had little hope of there being much of a game to play when the selling points are heavily focused on fap bait or attracting those that want a pseudo game, so they don’t get caught playing a soft porn game.

Surprisingly, there is a story to unpack with its suggestive wrapping. You play as Kasuga, a high school student who awakens in her high school with no recollection of how she got there. As Kasuga searches for a way out of the high school, the story deepens through exploration and puzzle-solving. Through this, you will encounter weird and unsettling events that have occurred within the high school walls, revealing dark and hidden secrets.

High School Dirty Secrets is very akin to a walking simulator. You traverse the hallways in first-person or third-person views. First-person view is the primary view, as you need to be in this view to interact with environmental objects.

The third-person view offers a wider field of view, but it puts your phone away, which is your only source of light in the darkened hallways. Third-person view feels like a feature to allow dirty old men to perve on the over sexualisation, skimpy outfits, and exaggerated giggle physics of Kasuga’s breasts.

Progression is simple: solving each puzzle unlocks more clues for the next puzzle. There is a lot of traversing back and forth between locations, as requirements range from transporting items from one location to another to finding clues to help solve a puzzle in another area. Being a horror game, though, the traversal is hampered by scantily clad female enemies, who will kill Kasunga, returning you to your last continue point.

The phone assists with tracking clues by taking photos and storing notes. It also doubles as an inventory management assistant, as carried items can be selected when interacting with environmental puzzles. Unfortunately, viewing the phone or any screen in the game causes an annoying blur effect that makes my eyes hurt. Worse still, when viewing the phone, the background constantly undulates.

Now, I know you’re asking, “The background undulates, what the hell”? Well, that’s because the background is of Kusuga’s body, with considerable focus on her breasts, and yes, you guessed it. Everything undulates to pander to those dirty old men. The constant undulation gives more of a sense that Kusuga is drunk, or on a boat, triggering my sea sickness, as opposed to enhancing the sex factor.

High School Dirty Secrets is presented in a three-dimensional anime style for both environments and characters. As the high school’s secrets are uncovered, the graphics distort reality through blurring and glitching. The colours also take on vibrant, hazy shades, leaning into an otherworldly vibe. Communication is handled at the bottom of the screen via text boxes that display a two-dimensional image of the person speaking in an anime art style.

The audio in High School Dirty Secrets is your typical cliché horror sounds with low orchestral musical tones. Although they are cliché, they still deliver on the creepiness factor with echoing footsteps down empty hallways, distorted glitching sounds, and wind blowing in what sounds like an empty void.

High School Dirty Secrets has an overly sexualised wrapping, but presents an interesting story to discover. With a cliché horror audio, you can become absorbed in the environment, but unfortunately, it has some poor graphical choices that spoil the experience. With a rewarding clue and puzzle loop, it is hampered by excessive backtracking. Overall, High School Dirty Secrets is an average game that balances good and bad elements.

Written by: Ashley Barnett-Cosgrove