I Know a Guy: Shady Life Simulator, by developer Bunch’o’Nerds is described on their page as “Run a pizza shop up front and handle shady business out back”. Having played the demo, I was genuinely excited when a review version became available, as it had great potential back then! So let’s get the apron on and see how the developers have progressed.

Starting in a cubicle in the bar toilet, you walk out and pour yourself a beer, and as you leave, you are jumped and kidnapped. You owe Tony and the Mafia $1m, and to get your freedom back and settle the debt, he forces you to work at a pizza shop. They drive you to the shop and drop you off naked, and the light-hearted adventure begins. As the voiceover tells you, the front pizza shop is what makes the money; the shady business at the rear will gradually grow.

There is a meter-based system in the middle of the screen showing you how well you are running the pizza business side or the shady side. During the first playthrough, I found myself concentrating too much on the pizza shop, and the Mafia believed I was ignoring the shady business, so they sent a standover man to get me. It’s a fine balance to avoid attracting police attention while remaining a legitimate business and staying shady. You also have the ability to play with friends in multiplayer, which is handy as you will be busy, and you can each concentrate on one side of the business.

The pizza shop side: you start with three basic machines and a cheese pizza recipe. You do have a lot of progression here; there are 14 different ingredients in all, used across eight pizzas once you unlock and learn the recipe. You have another 16 levels, with 71 unlocks in total, varying from upgraded machines, benches, tiles, paint, and many more.

On the shady side, the back room has a vaulted door and a caged window for shady people, and then a large room where your bed is located, used for sleeping and saving your game. You have a computer in the room that is connected to the dark web. You have 20 levels on the shady side with 29 unlocks in total, including washing cash and items, incinerating items, online slot machines, forgery, meth, and selling organs, and plenty more.

The pizza shop is pretty self-explanatory: you make pizzas and sell them to the citizens, ensuring you keep ordering enough ingredients to keep the shelves stocked. It can be hard to serve pizzas and manage the shady business at the same time; some AI assistance would be a big help, and I believe this is coming in future updates. It’s the shady side that really goes in depth. You use your computer connected to the dark web to order products for the town’s citizens.

The pizza shop generates cash, but the shady side delivers the cryptocurrency, which you use on the dark web. Like the dark web, you will get pop-ups on your web browser until you order an anti-virus too; it’s these small things that make you smile. The dark web is also very unreliable, which is true to form. For example, a lady wanted a fake Hamres handbag. On the dark web, I had two different vendors I could order from. The first one cost 0.60 Bitcoin, had a 75% delivery success rate, and would take 30-60 seconds. The second vendor costs 0.77 Bitcoin, with a 95% chance of receiving it, and would take 5-10 seconds. It’s the old risk-versus-reward.

The amount of bitcoin I have lost to failed deliveries is crazy, but you can also save a lot if you’re willing to gamble; it just depends on the timeframe given for the shady job. There is so much available on the dark web, and it plays into the humour of the game from Rhino performance pills for the bedroom, wiretaps for meetings, burner phones, steroids, fuzzy handcuffs; it is all good fun, and every customer has a story on why they need something, which is always filled with humour. If the customer requires delivery, you send the shady goods off with your shady courier, who is all dressed in black and riding a black moped.

The city is a good size with a lot of different houses and buildings to explore, a hospital, a police station, a skate park, and an aeroplane hangar, to name a few. Each will have its own citizen mulling around. Once you talk to them or gain their trust through level progression, they might just have some shady work for you. The developers have released a roadmap as well, showing more of the open world, amongst other things.

The graphics are hard to explain, while basic cartoons are a lot of fun, like Schedule I. There is a good variation of characters and points of interest to engage with. The items you order from the black market and the pizza look authentic, and it is well put together.

The sounds are also polished, and the music is like a country dance track, providing a nice backdrop. All interactions with customers, computers, doors, and even punching the beggars out the front of your shop to scare them away have sounds and fit the game perfectly.

Overall, I predict this to be the next big title to explode like Schedule I has. This is a light-hearted, fun game; it is even more fun in multiplayer, as two players can really run the shop and shady side well. There are so many fun and illegal activities to do, all brought together in a light-hearted experience. With over 100 unlocks in both sides of the business and various side quests, you aren’t going to run out of things to do very quickly.

Looking at the developer road map as well, there is so much more coming to what is already a polished game. This is a must-play if you are into this genre; you will be laughing your head off and having fun for a very low entry price. Don’t hesitate; see if you have what it takes to pay off your debt.

Written by: Mike Bridge